Plymouth Troll Colony CryOut

Send correspondence to CryOut@plymouthtrolls.com. No slanderous information will be published, but we'll spread your accusations around off-line. Editorial license allows that we may delete portions of anything you write to fit our own views and we may insert comments that will either make you feel small or show us to be cool and/or patronizing. Also, babes are encouraged to send pictures, but they will not be published (nor will they be returned).

April, 2009

Something Shellfishy

What's the story on Plymouth keeping so much shoreline off limits to harvesting shellfish? Everything from cordage park to Warren Cove is closed. So is all of the inside of Plymouth Long Beach and all of Saquish. Take a look at Duxbury. Almost the whole shoreline is open to harvesting. It's the same damned bay!.

Well, Saquish is a no brainer. The greedy residents don't want anyone stealing 'their clams'. If you try to beach a boat there, the police are called. As for the rest, it's hard to fathom. There are so many clams on Long Beach, they are stunted due to overcrowding. It can't be because of pollution, what with all the money spent on sewage treatment. Could it? - Ed

No refunds, No Returns

I'm having buyer's remorse. Can we take back the election and vote again for president? McCain's an old bugger, but he wouldn't close Gitmo, let Korea fire missiles, and stand around while a bunch of backwater so-called pirates wreak unchecked havoc. I'm really depressed.

Buck up, Bunky. No, we can't revote and impeachment is out of the question with Nancy and Harry at the helm of Congress. But, in a year and a half, you can vote them into the minority again and that's when the fun will begin.Can you say repeal? Of course, the Messiah will veto any repeals, but that will seal his fate in the next election. Democracy is delicious at times. - Ed

February, 2009

CPA Wanted?

I just found out that the 1.5% surcharge on my property tax bill is for something called the Community Preservation Act. I always thought it was for hiring a CPA to do the town's taxes. Why would we need a Community Preservation Act? Are we threatened with destruction? Anyway, the President is a community organizer. Can't he handle this CPA thing? Plymouth isn't getting any of the bailout money. It's the least he could do.

Are you trying to shirk your responsibility to save the planet? Without the CPA, the mean old developers will build houses on the land (theoretically, but with the housing glut, really?). With the CPA, the town buys the land and fences it off. It is then preserved. Of course the state used to match 100% of the funds, but now it's down to 30%. Some would argue that if we don't use the matching funds, other towns will get them. We say that's fine. Plymouth has the largest land area in the state. The other towns will run out of space eventually and we can sell them our land to preserve on their dime. - Ed

No Quarter

The governor is asking for votes on what historical sites we should ask the U.S. Mint to use on its new state quarters. You can vote by going to the state web site. Let's all get together and vote for our two monuments: Plymouth Rock and the Forefathers Monument.

It's problematic. Will it mean more tourists? - Ed

Note: The winner was the Gloucester Fisherman's Memorial

December, 2008

What's The Hurry

I read where the Town Clerk, Larry Pizer, says that even if the Town Meeting votes to change over to a mayor and town council, it would probably take three years to actually take effect. That sounds like an awfully long time for something that straightforward to take, doesn't it?

Are you serious? It works like this:

1. Pass at Town Meeting
2. Ask state legislature to pass special act allowing change
3. Wait
4. Legislature requires a positive town vote on the change at the next town election
5. Wait
6. Town election passes change
7. Wait
8. Legislature approves special act
9. Wait
10. Town holds election of mayor and town council

Now, some people would say that our government works too slowly. We tend to go the other way. If the wheels of government turn slowly, there is less mischief going on, right? Trust me on this. - Ed

Happy Trolls Are Here Again

The trolls must be happy with the pending arrival of savior Hollywood East. Just imagine ten years from now they'll be living in troll-topia. A yellow brick road under every bridge. Pots of gold at the end of every rainbow. Selectrollman selling more vegetables than a troll can eat. How about the jobs. Trolls can now make a HONEST living working for Hollywood East, no more having to rely on their supernatural power to get by, Don't forget the Trollebraties that will be coming into town with all their fame, fortune, magic troll pills and white power dust. Troll youngsters will final have a future. The virtue of Hollywood East is something the Pilgrim Trollfathers can be proud of. HAPPY TROLLS ARE HERE AGAIN!!

We know this person. He's slightly deranged. But there's good reason. He's got a state job and has to put up with the mindless buffoons who arrive every year and stare down at ''The Rock' and ask inane questions."Is it really the one they stepped on when they landed?" or "My God, Martha, how do you suppose they all fit on it coming off that boat?" You'd be surprised at the long-term effects of dealing with nitwits. -Ed

June, 2008

Mad Momma

Hey! Knock it off!. My kid saw your stuff about gangs and clams and stuff and now he's having nightmares. What the hell is wrong with you people? Plymouth is a nice town.

Have you seen your kid in the last few hours? -Ed

Slow Is Good

The Governor ignored the law and his Council and appointed a judge, who happens to be gay? What is everyone complaining about? It's the first thing he's done after two years in office. After all, he had to sign his book deal and learn about dealing with the legislature all at once. Oh, and campaign for Obama! He's only human.

I guess his daughter is too young for a judgeship? Anyway, if he does nothing for four years, we should be so lucky. -Ed

April, 2008

No You Can't!

Duval Patrick hasn't accomplished anything since becoming governor. Now I see that he got a multi-million dollar book deal. What do you suppose he's going to write about in this autobiography?

Probably accusations of a lack of co-operation from the legislature (nearly all Dems), but you can bet it will be released to coincide with his re-election campaign. And another thing you can take to the bank: This state will vote for Barack Obama in the fall, in spite of Deval's obvious incompetence and their similar rise from obscurity. -Ed

Honking Big Clams

Why is there still a ban on digging steamers in Plymouth? I dug down six inches out on Plymouth Beach and there were about a dozen little clams trying to grow all packed together like sardines. Now it don't take a genius to know they need thinning out. If they'd open up even recreational digging, we'd have big old honkers there in no time!

Good question. Prediction: There will be a sudden change of opinion at Town Hall. Unfortunately those in the know will probably get first crack at the clams when it opens up and we'll all find out at the end of the summer.-Ed

February, 2007

Dual Citizenship

I figure they've opened about 6 new restaurants in Plymouth in the past year or so. Here's my question. Where do the people come from? As soon as a new place opens, it fills up, but the existing restaurants have just as many customers as before. So where do they all come from?

You can take it as proof that aliens are here (the real extraterrestrial kind). Somehow it's comforting to know that they have screaming brats just like people. And think about this: illegal aliens slaving in the kitchens to feed intergalactic aliens. Coincidence? We think not. - Ed

Your Ears Only

I was just wondering whether the governor has ever thought about having ear implants. That other black fellow, Barack Obama, has massive ears and he looks like he'll be the next Democrat to run for President if he beats out Hillary. Maybe it would help the governor.

Oh, come on! You think Deval Patrick would stoop to such a thing as having cosmetic surgery? Besides, the perks of being Governor of Massachusetts far outweigh those of the Presidency. Cadillacs, helicopters, drapes. Anything goes. No, Duval won't be getting an ear job. - Ed

November, 2006

On The Waterfront

Those chowder festival people sure left a mess down on the waterfront last year. Seems to me that they should clean up after themselves like they used to when Fran and Peggy ran it. What the hell are these people thinking? Someone has to clean up and it shouldn't be the parks people. If they don't clean up, run them off next year. And good riddance!

Politicians never care about the mess they leave. - Ed

Deval Who?

Where'd this Deval Patrick come from? Seems like he just appeared out of nowhere, don't it? Like an alien. One day he's working for Coke; the next day he's qualified to be governor. These moonbats in this state would, and probably will, elect an illegal as long as there's a (D) next to their name. What is wrong with this state?

Come on. You don't know? This state is here solely to provide comic relief for the rest of the country. - Ed

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Troll Pages Home Politics News CryOut! Blather Trolls Pictures Favorites Sports Sex Stooges Links		Send correspondence to CryOut@plymouthtrolls.com. No slanderous information will be published, but we'll spread your accusations around off-line. Editorial license allows that we may delete portions of anything you write to fit our own views and we may insert comments that will either make you feel small or show us to be cool and/or patronizing. Also, babes are encouraged to send pictures, but they will not be published (nor will they be returned). April, 2009 Something Shellfishy What's the story on Plymouth keeping so much shoreline off limits to harvesting shellfish? Everything from cordage park to Warren Cove is closed. So is all of the inside of Plymouth Long Beach and all of Saquish. Take a look at Duxbury. Almost the whole shoreline is open to harvesting. It's the same damned bay!. Well, Saquish is a no brainer. The greedy residents don't want anyone stealing 'their clams'. If you try to beach a boat there, the police are called. As for the rest, it's hard to fathom. There are so many clams on Long Beach, they are stunted due to overcrowding. It can't be because of pollution, what with all the money spent on sewage treatment. Could it? - Ed No refunds, No Returns I'm having buyer's remorse. Can we take back the election and vote again for president? McCain's an old bugger, but he wouldn't close Gitmo, let Korea fire missiles, and stand around while a bunch of backwater so-called pirates wreak unchecked havoc. I'm really depressed. Buck up, Bunky. No, we can't revote and impeachment is out of the question with Nancy and Harry at the helm of Congress. But, in a year and a half, you can vote them into the minority again and that's when the fun will begin.Can you say repeal? Of course, the Messiah will veto any repeals, but that will seal his fate in the next election. Democracy is delicious at times. - Ed February, 2009 CPA Wanted? I just found out that the 1.5% surcharge on my property tax bill is for something called the Community Preservation Act. I always thought it was for hiring a CPA to do the town's taxes. Why would we need a Community Preservation Act? Are we threatened with destruction? Anyway, the President is a community organizer. Can't he handle this CPA thing? Plymouth isn't getting any of the bailout money. It's the least he could do. Are you trying to shirk your responsibility to save the planet? Without the CPA, the mean old developers will build houses on the land (theoretically, but with the housing glut, really?). With the CPA, the town buys the land and fences it off. It is then preserved. Of course the state used to match 100% of the funds, but now it's down to 30%. Some would argue that if we don't use the matching funds, other towns will get them. We say that's fine. Plymouth has the largest land area in the state. The other towns will run out of space eventually and we can sell them our land to preserve on their dime. - Ed No Quarter The governor is asking for votes on what historical sites we should ask the U.S. Mint to use on its new state quarters. You can vote by going to the state web site. Let's all get together and vote for our two monuments: Plymouth Rock and the Forefathers Monument. It's problematic. Will it mean more tourists? - Ed Note: The winner was the Gloucester Fisherman's Memorial December, 2008 What's The Hurry I read where the Town Clerk, Larry Pizer, says that even if the Town Meeting votes to change over to a mayor and town council, it would probably take three years to actually take effect. That sounds like an awfully long time for something that straightforward to take, doesn't it? Are you serious? It works like this: 1. Pass at Town Meeting 2. Ask state legislature to pass special act allowing change 3. Wait 4. Legislature requires a positive town vote on the change at the next town election 5. Wait 6. Town election passes change 7. Wait 8. Legislature approves special act 9. Wait 10. Town holds election of mayor and town council Now, some people would say that our government works too slowly. We tend to go the other way. If the wheels of government turn slowly, there is less mischief going on, right? Trust me on this. - Ed Happy Trolls Are Here Again The trolls must be happy with the pending arrival of savior Hollywood East. Just imagine ten years from now they'll be living in troll-topia. A yellow brick road under every bridge. Pots of gold at the end of every rainbow. Selectrollman selling more vegetables than a troll can eat. How about the jobs. Trolls can now make a HONEST living working for Hollywood East, no more having to rely on their supernatural power to get by, Don't forget the Trollebraties that will be coming into town with all their fame, fortune, magic troll pills and white power dust. Troll youngsters will final have a future. The virtue of Hollywood East is something the Pilgrim Trollfathers can be proud of. HAPPY TROLLS ARE HERE AGAIN!! We know this person. He's slightly deranged. But there's good reason. He's got a state job and has to put up with the mindless buffoons who arrive every year and stare down at ''The Rock' and ask inane questions."Is it really the one they stepped on when they landed?" or "My God, Martha, how do you suppose they all fit on it coming off that boat?" You'd be surprised at the long-term effects of dealing with nitwits. -Ed June, 2008 Mad Momma Hey! Knock it off!. My kid saw your stuff about gangs and clams and stuff and now he's having nightmares. What the hell is wrong with you people? Plymouth is a nice town. Have you seen your kid in the last few hours? -Ed Slow Is Good The Governor ignored the law and his Council and appointed a judge, who happens to be gay? What is everyone complaining about? It's the first thing he's done after two years in office. After all, he had to sign his book deal and learn about dealing with the legislature all at once. Oh, and campaign for Obama! He's only human. I guess his daughter is too young for a judgeship? Anyway, if he does nothing for four years, we should be so lucky. -Ed April, 2008 No You Can't! Duval Patrick hasn't accomplished anything since becoming governor. Now I see that he got a multi-million dollar book deal. What do you suppose he's going to write about in this autobiography? Probably accusations of a lack of co-operation from the legislature (nearly all Dems), but you can bet it will be released to coincide with his re-election campaign. And another thing you can take to the bank: This state will vote for Barack Obama in the fall, in spite of Deval's obvious incompetence and their similar rise from obscurity. -Ed Honking Big Clams Why is there still a ban on digging steamers in Plymouth? I dug down six inches out on Plymouth Beach and there were about a dozen little clams trying to grow all packed together like sardines. Now it don't take a genius to know they need thinning out. If they'd open up even recreational digging, we'd have big old honkers there in no time! Good question. Prediction: There will be a sudden change of opinion at Town Hall. Unfortunately those in the know will probably get first crack at the clams when it opens up and we'll all find out at the end of the summer.-Ed February, 2007 Dual Citizenship I figure they've opened about 6 new restaurants in Plymouth in the past year or so. Here's my question. Where do the people come from? As soon as a new place opens, it fills up, but the existing restaurants have just as many customers as before. So where do they all come from? You can take it as proof that aliens are here (the real extraterrestrial kind). Somehow it's comforting to know that they have screaming brats just like people. And think about this: illegal aliens slaving in the kitchens to feed intergalactic aliens. Coincidence? We think not. - Ed Your Ears Only I was just wondering whether the governor has ever thought about having ear implants. That other black fellow, Barack Obama, has massive ears and he looks like he'll be the next Democrat to run for President if he beats out Hillary. Maybe it would help the governor. Oh, come on! You think Deval Patrick would stoop to such a thing as having cosmetic surgery? Besides, the perks of being Governor of Massachusetts far outweigh those of the Presidency. Cadillacs, helicopters, drapes. Anything goes. No, Duval won't be getting an ear job. - Ed November, 2006 On The Waterfront Those chowder festival people sure left a mess down on the waterfront last year. Seems to me that they should clean up after themselves like they used to when Fran and Peggy ran it. What the hell are these people thinking? Someone has to clean up and it shouldn't be the parks people. If they don't clean up, run them off next year. And good riddance! Politicians never care about the mess they leave. - Ed Deval Who? Where'd this Deval Patrick come from? Seems like he just appeared out of nowhere, don't it? Like an alien. One day he's working for Coke; the next day he's qualified to be governor. These moonbats in this state would, and probably will, elect an illegal as long as there's a (D) next to their name. What is wrong with this state? Come on. You don't know? This state is here solely to provide comic relief for the rest of the country. - Ed CLICK HERE FOR CRY OUT! 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